what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
