I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
