If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
