I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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