you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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