Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
