Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
