DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
