Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Randomize
