Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
