I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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