I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
