Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
