no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
