Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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