I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
