Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
