Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
