One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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