Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
