I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
