Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My life is pants optional.
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