We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You were trust falling into bushes
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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