tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize