Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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