So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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