babies were throwing up all over the place
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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