i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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