Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
