I have demons in me.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
