Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
