if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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