My cat gives me a boner
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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