you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
