dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
