There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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