OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
