69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
