do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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