My balls are so social today.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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