I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
this is an emotional support booty call
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
