I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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