Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
