I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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