I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Randomize
