What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have fence marks all over my body
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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