why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
