We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
