talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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