No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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