I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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