Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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