i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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