meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
