no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Randomize
