normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
