Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
