So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
