What did we do last night that was yellow?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
