I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
