I cockslap morals
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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